References, Relationships, Authenticity . . . and Two Lines

Patty Griffin – an American folk singer – wrote a song called “Christine.”

It was about the daughter of Aristotle Onassis (once the world’s richest man) who had many-many suitors.

There are a couple of lines from that song that have always stuck with me: “If you had the real, how would you tell? Liars can say it all just as well.”

The real thing – authenticity – is what hiring managers, boards, and bishops are looking for. Some hiring committees go through five or more rounds of interviews. They want the real thing.

Reference checks are crucial to verifying who you have.

Most businesses and non-profits wait until the end of the process, but we do preliminary reference checks (around the halfway point of the process) and final reference checks (if our clients don’t). People who know the person you want to hire can tell almost everything you need to know.

For hiring committees, be sure to reach out to the references: professional and character . . . and spiritual references for spiritual roles. If the person is a leader or manager, be sure to ask for two direct reports. And we’ve found it is good to have a mix of men and women.

For job seekers, your references are all about cultivating the relationship. Choose people who know the value that you bring and the goodness of your person–who care about you and who are honest.

(If you don’t bring a lot of value to your workplace, start–make it your first priority at work because that is what work is. If you are kinda a crumby person morally, change–you won’t be happy until you do.)

If you are in full job seeking mode, reach out to your references for a call or video call for a quick reconnect. Ask for their advice if they have the time. Thank them. Pray for them if you are a praying person. Check-in with them once a month–give them an update. Share how you are growing. Help them to know how you are growing.

If you aren’t in job seeking mode, call your references once a year. Give them a brief update. Ask them if there is anything you can do for them–and be sure to follow through.

Before employers reach out for reference checks, give them a heads up and ask them to respond quickly if they can.

When references don’t respond quickly, it is often taken as a bad sign and reflects poorly on you as the job seeker. Get new references if yours are too busy to respond in a timely fashion. Some references are only good for a time, so changing references can be good. It gives old references a break and gives you a chance to have your new employer talk to people who know who you are today.

Always-always thank your references and let them know when you get the new job. And make them proud–create value for them by being the person they said you were . . . and by becoming better. Those doing reference checks know that no person is perfect, but they want a person of integrity–a person who cares about relationships and a person who has the habit of change for growth . . . of creating value for those they serve and the team with which they work.

References are golden.

If you haven’t talked to your references lately, give one a ring.

Referential Blessings to You and Yours,

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